


Darling, you'll be okay

by RyanRossiskillingme



Category: Panic! at the Disco, Ryan Ross/Jon Walker - Fandom, The Young Veins, rywalk - Fandom
Genre: M/M, TW: talk of rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-09
Updated: 2013-12-09
Packaged: 2018-01-04 03:12:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1075851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyanRossiskillingme/pseuds/RyanRossiskillingme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan has a nightmare.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Darling, you'll be okay

Ryan awoke with a start, gasping for air as he ran a shaky hand through his sweaty hair. He couldn’t remember falling asleep, but then again he couldn’t remember most of the week. He had just been walking around like an emotionless zombie, trying his best to not fall asleep. But of course, he did, he always did. The nightmares he gets we’re truly terrifying, endless replays of their hands all over him, and there was never anything he could do. Before, he kept people around at all times, it was easy with Jon around since he had refused to go home after Ryan was attacked. He was using Jon as protection in a way. But now he was alone, too scared to ask for anyone to just come over and spend time with him. It was hard to not get trapped in his head when he was by himself, simply because he was, well, by himself. He needed to call someone, anyone, but he couldn’t think of anyone who would be up at this hour?

He had been having horrible nightmares since he was raped. None of them had ever been as bad this though. Normally he can wake up right away, almost avoid them, but this time he couldn't wake up at all. He pulled his knees up to his chest, trying to take deep breaths to calm himself down. He rubbed his eyes, realizing he was crying. He took another deep breath that turned into a small sob.

This hasn't happened while Jon was around, and normally he can keep everything in, ignoring his feelings is easier than letting everything out. Maybe his body was just giving up, the lack of sleep and the harm he had caused himself was just getting to him finally. Maybe this was good for him, letting everything out would help him forget everything. All he wanted to do was forget. He wanted to be able to go out without worrying that it would happen again.

He suddenly remembered what his boyfriend had told him, _'If anything happens, anything at all, just call me. Okay, Ry?'._ Moving to pick up his phone to call Jon he realized he could hardly think straight or calm himself down. He dialled Jon's number and waited for an answer. "Hello? Ryan, it's four in the morning, I was asleep." Jon's voice came over the line sleepily. And just like that Ryan couldn't told back the tears anymore. "J--Jon, I-I-- can you come over?" Ryan asked, his voice cracked even though he had tried so hard to keep it from doing that. 

The line was silent for a moment, the only sound was Ryan's sobbing. "Yes, of course. Jesus, baby, what happened? Are you okay?" Jon asked quickly, it sounded like he was trying to get dressed and stay on the phone. He shook his head before realizing Jon couldn't see him. "I-I just had a bad dream, I couldn't... I couldn't calm myself down. I just--I can't..." his ramble broke off with a sob. "It's okay baby. I'll be there in a minute. I need to hang up to drive though, can you stay calm enough until I get there?" Jon asked, Ryan was guessing he was probably in his car.

"I--Yes, y-yeah, I th--think I can." Ryan said, trying to take deep breaths again. "Stay where you are, okay? Don't... just don't hurt yourself, I'll be there in a minute, I love you." Jon said softly before hanging up.

Ryan put the phone on the bed next to him before laying back down. He was still sobbing and couldn't control his breathing but he stayed where he was, like Jon told him to. After a few minutes he heard Jon come into the house. As soon as he entered the room he climbed onto Ryan's bed and pulled the younger boy onto his lap. Ryan hid his face in Jon's shoulder as Jon rocked him back and forth, trying to calm him down.

Ryan eventually stopped sobbing, letting out little whimpers every once in a while and every so often Jon would kiss the top of his head, whispering sweet things to him. "I'm sorry for waking you up and making you come here." Ryan mumbled into Jon's shoulder, clinging tighter to him. "It's okay baby, I understand. You needed me, it's okay." Jon said softly as he moved so they were laying down. By the time they both fell asleep the sun was beginning to rise over the horizon, filling Ryan's room with a soft redish orange light. Ryan was curled up against Jon's chest, sleeping peacefully for the first times in months. Even in his sleep, Jon kept a protective arm around Ryan, keeping him safe from his nightmares.


End file.
